That awkward moment when the coverphoto has nothing to do with the post… I just really love this photo. Anyhooo…
I watched Tyler Perry’s Temptation quite a while back and it was good but quite predictable. I’m not here to give you a movie review but I found myself ranting on and on about different aspects of the movie that made me realize a couple of things. This might contain some spoilers so if that bothers you, read something else… Or not.
I remember while watching the movie, I did a lot of thinking and thought processing. To start with, one of the main character Judith is in a blessed marriage (too bad she didn’t realize that) with her childhood love Brice but then she messes up and dumps him for a rich millionaire scumbag who blinded her with his money (yeah, not so surprising). The part that REALLY got to me was the reason she was divorcing her lovely, lovely husband. I shall paraphrase what she said to him “You’re not spontaneous enough. I feel dead when I’m around you”. That is absolutely one of the dumbest reasons I’ve ever heard in my life. Seriously?
Why did this line provoke so many thoughts? First of all, we don’t realize what we have till we loose it. It was clear she didn’t realise what she had (come on, have you seen brother Brice?) Besides that, I guess when you’ve known someone for that long, you begin to see them more as ordinary and their awesomeness becomes normal… You just get used to it.
Brice was a good man but she couldn’t see that because she had grown “used” to him and when she was faced with a complete stranger who promised her heaven on Earth, she fell hard. She didn’t say Brice wasn’t a good man or he treated her badly, she said he wasn’t “spontaneous” enough and seating in the theatre, I prayed that when God gives me a good man at the right time, may I not only think of him as only “good” but let him always remain “spontaneous” to me. Besides intimate relationships, it helped me appreciate the friendships I’ve been able to keep and my family more.
Yeah, yeah you might be like “I’m not that stupid or shallow” but sometimes we take for granted the people in our lives without realizing it. Guilty. No relationship is perfect and there will be times when things are boring or “not spontaneous” but I understand that it’s ok. Relationships have their ups and downs but as long as it’s based on love, trust and communication it’s worth it.
Speaking of communication, they were pretty poor in that section because Brice admitted he didn’t know she wasn’t happy and he also fell prey to the “getting used to” syndrome. He stopped noticing the little things like when she changed her hair and he even forgot her birthday three years (I don’t remember specifically but it was alot) in a row… Hmm, personally, I know I’ll be PISSED but is that enough reason to divorce a man who has had such fierce loyalty to you since childhood (literally)?
Though I’m young, and I have now realized life is a mixture of grey with streaks and spots of rainbow colors instead of just black or white, I believe communication is a must for any relationship. I have definitely fall short when it comes to communication but I’m still learning. Plus, this is one of those situations where it’s better to learn from other people’s mistakes than experiencing them for ourselves.
Actions speak louder than words. It’s possible that you unknowingly push away those dearest to you by your actions no matter how little. Thinking about it, those “little things” accumulate overtime and could lead to “surprising” problems that could have been resolved if addressed earlier. Problems that you never realized where there until you actually sit back and think. I want to be able to communicate with my loved ones. I should be able to tell them something that bothers me about them and vice versa because on the long run, we understand each other better and unnecessary conflict is avoided.
My mum told me (it’s her birthday today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA-SITAS!) and I quote “Love is knowing someone’s flaws and still wanting them in your life.” As long as the good outweighs the bad, that’s all that matters because no one is perfect…
*Snaps out of thought bubble*