Ika Adage #11: Slapping Fig Trees I know it’s weird imagining a fig tree plotting to slap passers-by to oblivion but never getting around to it because plants are one of the nicest creatures on the planet. Right? Or maybe they just have a supernatural dose of self control, haha! How can they harbour such contempt towards us humans? Or do they? They certainly look like they do with their large sizes and thick over-extending branches. It’s definitely an intimidating looking tree… but to slap someone. It’s not that deep. Before you get started, look at a couple of fig trees to get a better imagery in your head. I really like this adage because it portrays what fear does to us. When we’re afraid to try new things, take (sensible) risks, of the unknown etc, it’s easy to concoct all types of assumptions and excuses as to why you shouldn’t give “that thing” a shot. Have you ever been in a situation where you’re so scared to try something, it almost seems impossible but when you eventually do, you realize “That was so bad after all.”. That is the barrier of fear and doubt. It prevents you from even trying at all. Sometimes I get in my head and over-speculate situations, psych myself out and end up dropping it. A personal example, I modeled this year for the first time in a fashion show for an on campus organization and of course, we had to audition prior to it. So, the thing is I wasn’t familiar with walking runways so it was a new experience.You’re probably thinking but you’ve posed for the camera a million times and can walk in heels but I promise you, fashion blogging and modelling aren’t the same thing. They’re similar yes, but they’re different. Anyways, I was nervous out of my braids and I almost didn’t go to the auditions because the thought of walking (in heels) in front of an actively watching crowd had my ears burning. Oh, my ears get hot when I’m overly excited or nervous, hehe. I had all these images running through my head, I thought I would break a leg (literally) or fall or do something utterly silly. I was freaking out to my friends and they assured me I was being a purple and orange frog and I’d be fine. I was and I had the same “Wow, Ashan-wa you’re so over dramatic, it wasn’t that deep” epiphany. There are so many things I want to do and even when I know this, there’s doubt as to whether I should. I know a lot of people feel this way so you are not alone. Fear and doubt robs you of amazing opportunities. I know I’ve fallen prey to this several times but it is an experience. Just do it even though you don’t feel the most prepared or qualified because if you don’t all you’ll have left is regrets and what ifs.It’s a really crappy feeling. I think in quotes so another quote that concisely summarizes this one goes “Feel the fear and do it any way because it might not be too late now but one day, it will be” and I don’t know who wrote it. I hope you’ll be encouraged to push yourself out of your comfort zone more often. It’s easier said than done… like most things in life so breath more, think less and JUST DO IT! If that doesn’t work, you can ask a fig tree to slap you but honestly, you’ll be fine. What’s one thing you REALLY want to do but haven’t been able to because of whatever? For me, I’d really like to dye my hair deep blue or purple… Or get highlights in those colors! Share yours down below! Always, Miss LAJA
Ika Adage #10: Smelly Mouths True or nah? It’s okay if a close friend or an immediate family let’s you know… in a private place… when you’re alone… and can actually do something about it AKA re-brush, chew gum or the likes BUT what if that’s not the case? Maybe you’re on an outing, no not just any outing but a date (it is Valentine’s season, you know) and, and, you know, a little someone isn’t co-operating after everything’s SUPPOSEDLY laid; hair, make-up, outfit. Really? Of all the times it could happen, it’s now. Geez, can’t an in-di-vi-du-al have it all? Okay, this adage might sound funny but I like to think that it’s talking about the importance of having genuine people who will let you know the truth no matter the circumstance. Whether it sounds good or not and whether you want to hear it or not. It makes sense right? A relative, your siblings for example, would tell you if your mouth was smelling if it’s the genuine truth or they’re just being well, siblings. I know mine do and yes, it’s really annoying but on the long run you’re saving individuals you’ll encounter money they would spend on buying painkillers to deal with the damages caused by your face hole. Come on, be nice. Thye’re paying for the damages and they’re the victims. Amongst my family (2 parents and 4 siblings), if anyone’s mouth is smelling and they happend to be “sniffed”, the charged individual goes through a trial where the judges (aka other members of the family) do the “whiff-and-unblock-your-nose test” and if he or she is charged guilty, they’re sentenced to re-brushing and/or being made fun of the whole day forever. I’m not even kidding, the struggle is real but they have my back so I can’t complain so much, haha. Seriously, I can’t stress the importance of exercising quality over quantity in every aspect of your life especially when it comes to deciding who gets to be a part of your life. People you mingle with do rub off on you and it sucks being amongst people you can’t be yourself with or being in one-sided relationships. Or being with people who resemble chameleons (figuratively but you can take it literally if you like, hehe) because they are just too fake. It takes two people to have a relationship; it’s a give and take and if you’re always on the giving end and not getting anything in return, it’s very draining. If you are fortunate to have friends who genuinely care about you, appreciate them and don’t take them for granted. Give them your best because they deserve it. How do you know a genuine friend? It’s simple. They’ll tell you when your mouth stinks, wreaks and is contributing significantly to global warming. Yes, yes, using a more toned down approach but you have to be careful because you don’t want a “friend” that only points out your weaknesses or attacks you for the slightest mistakes. Those “frenemies” in my opinion are the deadliest but that’s a post for another day. In as much as these genuine individuals tell you the harsh, painful truth, they will also support, motivate and let you snot-cry on them when you feel like toilet paper (sorry toilet paper). They’ll stick around during the great and not-so-great times and that’s something to look out for in an individual. I believe being selective about the people in your life (romantically or other) says a lot about you as a person. It shows that you know your value and aren’t willing to just settle for anyone. No, it’s not wrong to be selective because it does save a lot of heartache and wasted time. Valentine’s season isn’t only for celebrating romantic and passionate love with your significant other (but if you have one, what are your plans? Tell meee) but also to celebrate kick-ass friendships, lovely family members and just having the opportunity to have people walk with you on your journey as you do on theirs Remember, there are some people who would appreciate having someone to show they care. By just being there, you know? It could be rendering your service to someone in need and there are several ways to show you care without having to spend mon-ayyy (no oppositions to that though). If you’re single, I wrote some V-Day posts last year that make me want to cry (find out why here) but regardless, I still love them and I believe you will too! What I appreciate the most in any relationship is time and loyalty and I don’t think I’m alone on this one. Gifts are great don’t get me wrong but there’s nothing like someone giving up their time and staying loyal to YOU. Because YOU is worth it. Wow, that sounds so ratchet, haha! Taking the wise words of this adage, be a smelly mouth detector to your loved ones today. They will thank you… Just tell them nicely… or nah. What’s your take on this adage? How else would you interpret it? PS, I’m falling asleep with excitement for the next post! Yes, it’s Valentine’s themed and it’s going to be something different so watch out for it! Oh mah gadd! PS,PS, It’s my baby sister’s birthday today! She turns 7! Happy Birthday, Kiki! #AsianTigerOfLife Lots of Love, Miss LAJA
Ika Adage #9: Ground If water is spilled on a porous or non-porous surface, it’s guaranteed that the water will disappear after a certain period. I believe this adage is referring to things that are out of our control because they just are. Yes, the water goes somewhere but is there anything we can do to stop or reverse it? Nope. They could either seep into the ground or evaporate into the air but do we see what “path” each molecule takes as it breaks away into the air or rushes towards Earth’s core? The paths are limitless! Thus, the minute details are not so necessary because they are subject to change depending on the condition; in this case temperature, size of the puddle etc. We know that due to funky scientific reasons, the water goes into the ground and/or into the air. So what does this have to do with anything? Well, it does apply to you in the sense of worry about the future; the unknown. Sometimes you just get so hell-bent on trying to figure out what path your life is going to take down to the tiniest detail. At least I know I do but the truth is though you might have a grand plan, the future is so flexible that you never really know how things will turn out. You might have a solid idea and know how you want to go about it but you still never really know, you know? (see what I did there?) A ridiculously simple analogy; next week Tuesday I know I would like to have breakfast because I love breakfast and I might have a strong idea of what, when, where and with who I’ll have breakfast but that could change. Now tell me, is it worth stressing about the really tiny details like who I’ll bump into on my way there or where I’ll sit? Again I might have an idea but it’s flexible and oh-so-subject to change. The game plan is I want breakfast next week Tuesday but I might end up having breakfast for dinner or lunch or eating something new other than my usual. So should I refuse to have breakfast because they had boiled eggs instead of scrambled eggs? Or I was meant to meet up with Xerxes but Damon ended up joining as well? It’s a journey with endless paths but one destination. Relating it to college life where there’s pressure to know what you want to do with your life, you will find yourself adding, subtracting, realigning and discovering your interests along the way. Your big or little picture will change subtly or drastically. You might come in working towards becoming a pediatrician treating axolotls (because they’re beautiful) in Venus but across the line you’re like nah, you prefer Mars… and algae-eating leopard fishes. I know, completely different planets and organisms! And if you’re someone like me that strongly prefers having things planned to the littlest details, then this situation could be VERY uncomfortable. But, it’s okay because change is good… sometimes. As young adults (and humans), we are constantly evolving so while it’s okay to freak out, use it as an opportunity to examine yourself from a different perspective. Explore a completely new side of yourself and with this discovery realign your big picture. Try being a little more flexible and open because it’s an important part of the college experience. So, as spectators of this puddle on the ground, we might know the general info on the travels of our dearest H2O friends but you can’t and don’t have to “see” the mouth that carries them from the ground. The water might travel different paths each time and end up in different places. They might not know what their journey holds but we both know one thing; it will leave the ground. Wow, such an un-spontaneous climax but we don’t want to worry about that, now, do we? This is my twist on it but I’m 1000% sure there are multiple sides that I didn’t touch on! So, share in the comments below and let’s start a convo! And yes, I LOVE axolotls and algae-eating leopard fishes! Always, Miss LAJA
Ika Adage #8: Kola Trees Kola nuts are popular fruits in Western Africa. When I think of them, I imagine the scene in a Nollywood movie where it is served as an appetizer to a group of elders meeting at a chief’s or king’s house. More like a traditional snack for the elderly I would say and if you’re familiar with Nigerian (or West African) movies with traditional themes, you’ve definitely seen kola nuts. If not, you can learn more about it’s uses and benefits here and try watching a traditional Nollywood movie sometime. This adages addresses envy, jealousy and all the baggage that come’s with it. Wishing misfortune on someone who has done nothing to you or because he/she has progressed in some aspect of their life is wrong. Well, that sounds like a no brainer but what do we do when we find ourselves in such a situation? When we envy someone, we are so fixated on finding something, anything bad to pick out in them and guess what? You spend so much energy trying to find the faults in them and less energy working on and improving yourself. Sometimes you even find yourself disliking them for no reason at all. The funny thing is they are living their life while you’re wasting time, energy, and resources focusing on picking theirs apart. It won’t take you anywhere. Acting out on jealousy (spreading rumors or being intentionally mean etc) is tricky because it will eventually come back to you so “do onto others as you would have them do onto you”. Okay, your kola nut tree might grow, bear fruits and end up being just fine. You might even forget the incident and things go well for several years but life has a funny way of pulling us over at odd (and usually high) times. Oh hey, that sounds so much like karma, right? Don’t expect to grow or improve if you only have negative things to say about people around you. It’s important to realize that everyone is moving through life at different paces so stop comparing someone else’s chapter twenty with your chapter one. Whenever I find myself feeling envious of someone I just remember the wise sayings someone once told me; “Why would I[you] be angry at God for being so generous to his children with his gifts?” Isn’t that what jealously is? Believing and disliking the fact that someone is more favored or luckier than you are? Feeling bad that “great” things are happening to them and not you? It’s even worse when you thinking something along the lines of “I worked harder” or “my work is better” but hey, stop with the comparisons and don’t judge. If it was your time, YOU would be the person being celebrated. There is a time for everything and I believe there is an infinite amount of blessings/awesomeness to go around. Focus on you. Jealousy is an emotion and as humans we will feel it from time to time but what matters is not allowing it control our actions and thoughts. Take a step back and really ask yourself, why am I feeling this way? Does it really matter? Is it because A gets more likes on her Instagram photos than I do? Or B has a boyfriend and I don’t? Or C didn’t even put that much effort into the project but still had an A? A lot of times, the reasons lack substance. So instead of sulking over someone else’s promotion or fortune, celebrate with them if it’s something worthy of celebration. This is important because there are people who are “celebrated” for not-so-good reason. Always stay true to yourself. Don’t do something that deviates from your nature just because you want to be noticed. If there’s a great story behind the success, learn and be inspired by it. Let it motivate you. If not, bye Felicia! You don’t need it because it most likely won’t add value to your life anyways. Great minds think alike so surround yourself with great people. If the circumstance seems unfair, I believe things happen for a reason so as difficult as it sounds, let go and live your life. Your time too will come. Care for YOUR own kola tree instead of plotting ways to cut down others’. What are your thoughts on jealousy? How do you deal with it? Share in the comments below! And don’t forget to enter my giveaway here Always, Miss LAJA
Ika Adage #2- Stones Everything has its limits. Now, I’m not being pessimistic but while life has so much to offer, certain things will never change and too much of something (even good things) is bad. If you spill hot water on your bare skin, you will get burnt. No matter how much you try to run someone down, it won’t stop them from shining. If you eat too much sugary food, you will get sick. If you put in effort into a goal, you will see results even if it takes time. If you’re hungry, you need to eat. Smoking will never add value to your health no matter how “refined” it becomes. Night will always follow day (and vice versa) Some things in life are the way they are and cannot be changed (except through divine intervention) no matter how hard you try. It goes for good and bad things. A particular action will always yield the same result. That’s just life and this isn’t a pessimistic adage, it’s a realistic one. Do you have more examples of inevitable things in life? Let your thoughts run loose in the comments below. Always, Miss LAJA
Ika Adage #1- Porcupines A brief introduction. Adages are quotes or proverbs with hidden messages. Like words of wisdom. Here I will share with you some proverbs that are native to where I come from. I’m Ika and it’s an Igbo dialect that is native to North-Eastern Delta state, Nigeria. I will explain and give background info to the quotes but feel free to add your own interpretation and share your thoughts in the comments below. Be nice. This is a positive zone. Enjoy and I hope you learn something new about Nigerian culture. This is quite self-explanatory knowing that porcupines have spikes. This adage is similar to “Birds of the same feather flock together” and “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. This basically means you associate yourself with people you share similar characteristics with and it could go both ways; good or bad. Another meaning could be you are “defined” by your social circle; if your friends study all the time, you most likely do the same. If your friends party all the time, you mostly likely do the same. You get? Poor porcupine though, it must hurt to fall amongst thorns even when you’re naturally covered in spikes. I hope it landed well. Any thoughts? Let your thoughts run loose in the comments below. Always, Miss LAJA